you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize