I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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