the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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