i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
