Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
