I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
