My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
