Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
