Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize