i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
