wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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