I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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