I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
