Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
