It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
