Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
