Can Purell be used as lube?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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