I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize