He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
