i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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