how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize