idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize