Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
