tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Alive.
So much puke
Boobs are out for the taking
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize