is wine microwaveable?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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