i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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