you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
