My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
