That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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