Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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