She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
