Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
