Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
