So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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