I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
