They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
