She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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