she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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