Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
