I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
