I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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