do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
