oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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