I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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