It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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