But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
