Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I smell like Dick and happiness
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
