and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize