'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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