I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
