I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
