i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
