Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
