My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize