went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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