Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
