i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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