That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
