i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize