how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
