Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I had to cum in my sink.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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