my mouth tastes like poor choices
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
