We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
