Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
