Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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