Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
