Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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