Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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